Storming the Iceberg Lounge

Storming the Iceberg Lounge
A DC Universe oneshot
Misadventures of the Juvenile Gang

~

         “Joust, I’m booooored,” Pop grumbled loudly, his tiny body suspended slightly above the ground by a cluster of balloons. “Can we please do something?”
         “Go entertain yourself, dolt,” the older boy responded. He sat complacently polishing his lance and knight’s armor with a gray rag, not even looking up to address the eight year old.
         “Come on,” the boy pleaded. “Nobody wants to do anything.”
         The ten members of the Juvenile Gang sat in a large, awkward circle in their warehouse hideout, all lost in their own activities.
         “The brat’s got a point,” Henchy announced loudly. “Harley didn’t even leave the hyenas for us to play with.” The green haired clown girl crossed her arms and pouted.
         “Then why don’t the two of you go to the pound and acquaint yourself with a few mutts?” Joust spit back.
         “Will you come with us?!” Pop asked, oblivious to his armored boy’s sarcasm.
         “Yeah! Yeah! Let’s go look at some puppies!” Henchy chimed in.
         Joust sighed and placed his gloved hand on his helmet in exasperation. He looked as if he was about to respond but he was silenced by another voice.
         “It amazes me just how stupid the two of you can be,” a red haired twelve year old chided from the other side of the circle. Claw shook his head and pointed his pincer-shaped hands at Pop and Henchy before continuing. “We work with the Joker, the most feared criminal in the entire freaking city. And you want to entertain yourself by looking at dogs in the pound?”
         “What else are we supposed to do?” Henchy shot back. “Joker and Harley aren’t here.”
         “So? That doesn’t mean we should waste our time looking at dogs. We took on the freakin’ Batman just a few days ago and actually got away! And nobody in Gotham even knows our names yet.”
         “What are you grumbling about, crab?” the fat clown, Tubs, spoke up from between bites of a chicken leg.
         “Yeah,” the cowboy clown, Slick, added in his exaggerated western accent. “What exactly are ya suggestin’?”
         “Simple,” Claw went on. “If nobody in Gotham knows who we are, then we should go introduce ourselves. Loudly.”
         At this point, everybody in the room had turned to face the red haired boy. He paused, a devious smirk on his face.
         “Yeah, yeah!” Pop exclaimed excitedly. He turned to face Joust, nearly shaking with anticipation.
         “I’m dying for you to get to the point,” Sickle nagged.
         “Yes, the anticipation is killing me,” his twin sister, Spear, continued.
         The siblings, collectively known as the Reaper Twins, looked at one another and chuckled at their puns. As usual, the other children ignored the pair.
         “Just get to the point, Claw. Before Olga has a nervous breakdown,” Singe chimed in, sounding irritated.
         “HEY!” Henchy yelled. Though her eyes never turned away from Claw. She composed herself and then spoke to the pincer-handed boy. “So how do you want to introduce ourselves?”
         “Easy. Let’s take a field trip to the Iceberg Lounge.”
         All of the children were taken aback. The Iceberg Lounge was infamous throughout Gotham as a location where costumed criminals were free to meet, safe from the law and from Gotham’s many vigilantes. And to make matters worse, the Lounge’s proprietor was Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin – one of the most dangerous men in Gotham. The children seemed uneasy at the thought of invading so dangerous a location.
         Most of them.
         “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” Henchy exclaimed, jumping up and down. “I’ll go grab my tiara, my purse, and my mallet and we can leave right now!”
         Singe groaned at best friend’s enthusiasm. “Olga, come on.” Amongst the Juvenile Gang’s members, Singe was the only one who continued to call Henchy by her real name. “Even you must know that this is a bad idea.”
         “C’mon, Emma,” the green haired girl whined. “Don’t be a spoil-sport!”
         Ignoring the girls’ bickering, Claw stood up and stepped away from the other children. “I’m going to the Iceberg Lounge, with or without all of you. If you want to come, fine.”
         The other children all looked uneasily at one another.
         Empath was the first to stand. He looked nervous as he walked over to stand beside Claw. It was obvious to his teammates that he did not like the idea, but that he was going because he was worried for Claw.
         “Welcome aboard, smiles,” the red-head said sarcastically. “Any other takers?”
         Pop looked at Joust pleadingly. He put his hands together and shook them in a begging gesture. “Pleeeeease, Joust!”
         “Pfft,” the armored boy replied. He tried not to look at the young boy and to continue polishing his lance. Unfortunately for him, he caught a glimpse of the child out of the corner of his helmet’s eye holes. “Fine,” he sighed dramatically and hoisted his lance over his shoulder. Pop thrust his arms up triumphantly and the pair moved to stand beside Claw and Empath.
         “I dunno about this,” Slick announced uneasily.
         “What’s the matter, cowpoke?” Sickle mocked. “Afwaid we’re gonna kill somewun?”
         Slick grimaced at the masked boy. The Reaper Twins were insistent upon mocking him for his refusal to kill or injure anybody.
         Spear laughed at her brother’s insult and stepped to Claw’s side. “Tell you what, hoss. You come with us, and maybe we won’t hurt nobody.”
         Slick bit his lip but submitted and came to stand beside the group of children.
         Only Tubs, Henchy, and Singe still sat on the floor.
         “I bet Penguin tastes like chicken,” Tubs shrugged, licking his lips as he stepped over to stand with the larger group.
         Slick shook his head. “You’re disgustin’, ya know that?”
         The chubby boy smiled at the insult and marched to stand at Claw’s side.
         “Come on, Emma!” Henchy pleaded. “We can’t let them have all the fun!”
         “Olga, seriously? This is not a good idea! Can’t we at least wait for Joker and Harley to come back? Then the twelve of us can go together in a few days,” the bandaged girl implored.
         “But who knows when they’ll be back?! This’ll be fun! We can’t let the whole gang go without us.”
         “Olga–” Singe began. But Henchy interrupted her by stepping forward and closing the space between them. They stood close enough that they were nearly touching. The clown girl puffed out her lower lip in a petitionary manner and mouthed ‘Please?’
         Singe could feel herself blushing from underneath her bandages. She knew that she would not be able to say no. Sometimes she wondered if Olga knew about her feelings for her and manipulated them to her advantage. She pushed the thought out of her head and sighed dejectedly. “Fine.”

* * *

         “Good evening, May,” a red haired woman in an Alice in Wonderland dress said as she took a seat in front of a bar.
         “What can I get for ya, Erin?” came the reply from the strawberry-blond bartender. “As if I really need to ask,” she added, snickering.
        Erin joined in her friend’s soft laughter. “Some tea would be wonderful.”
         “You got it,” May, known by many regulars at the Iceberg Lounge as Trick Deck, remarked. She turned around and opened a drawer to pull out two tea bags. Erin Knightly had become such a regular at the Lounge that the Penguin made sure there were always a few bags of her favorite brand of tea behind the bar.
         The bartended began to prepare the drink and turned to face her friend. “So what’s goin…?” she began but her question trailed off. She cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly to the side.
         “What’s the matter, May?” Erin asked, perplexed by her friend’s sudden change.
         “Uh, do you see what I’m seeing right now?” she pointed a finger towards the entrance to the Lounge. The other girl spun in her seat and followed the direction of May’s pointing. Once she found the source of her friend’s confusion, Erin couldn’t help be also cock an eyebrow slightly.
         In the door stood ten costumed children. Each of them wore a different outfit and many of them wore clown facepaint. It was obviously their first time in the Lounge judging by the way that they all seemed to be marveling at the expensive décor of the establishment.
         “That is certainly…curious…”
         “Are they even old enough to be in here?” Trick Deck asked, tilting her head over the bar and towards the door. The bouncer who was normally stationed at the entrance was nowhere to be found. “I think I should go and get the boss. Mind manning the fort for me until I get back?”
         The red haired woman nodded and took May’s place behind the bar. The blonde exited and promised, “I’ll only be a minute,” before walking towards the Penguin’s office.
         Erin chewed on her lower lip and eyed the children. She guessed that they were probably affiliated with the Joker somehow. And she knew that that meant there would probably be some trouble.
         The gang of clowns were now stepping out from the entrance area and were spreading out across the grounds. Erin could see that they were getting the same looks from the other bar-goers as they had from her and May. It was a slow night at the Lounge, and only a few smaller-named mobsters were present. No noteworthy supercriminals were in attendance that she could spot.
         Most of the children were spreading out in pairs. Only two of the kids went off alone. One was making her way towards the centerpiece of the Iceberg Lounge: a pool of water with an immense iceberg in its center. In the water lived a hoard of seals and sea lions and also a few penguins. The girl walked directly towards it but moved slowly so that all eyes would follow. She had dyed green hair and her face was painted to look like a clown. She wore a tiara and a makeshift princess dress. And as she slowly walked towards her destination, she smiled brightly and performed an exaggerated princess wave at the patrons of the lounge.
         The other solo child was making his was directly towards Erin. He took a seat at the stool in front of her. He wore a bright red hoodie, grey jeans, and a white sweatband on his forehead which was mostly covered by his long, red hair. He was short and looked like he was in a state of eternal frustration. However, his most curious feature were his hands. He had only three fingers on each hand, the top two of which were fused together. He looked at Erin disinterestedly.
         “I’ll take a water,” he ordered, sounding frustrated.
         “Um…” the older girl began. “Aren’t you and your friends a bit young to be in here?”
         He eyed her from head to toe. “Aren’t you a bit old to be dressing like a Disney character?”
         Unsure how to proceed, Erin poured a glass of water and put it in front of the boy. “What I mean to say is why are you here?”
         He grasped the glass in his deformed hands and took a sip. “Because I lost rock, paper, scissors.” He lifted his deformed hands up so that she could see.
         Before Erin could ask what he meant by that, he motioned towards the center of the room. The princess clown girl had made her way to the metal bars blocking off the pool of water. She waved at the crowd and then turned so that her front was towards the water. She ducked down and then leapt onto the bars, stumbling clumsily onto the metal. She then took a second leap from bars, over the water, and onto the iceberg center. In a few more swift jumps, she made her way to the tip of the iceberg.
         “Eh, hehm,” she cleared her throat very loudly. “At this time, I’d like to ask the band to…PIPE DOWN!”
         In the corner of the expansive room, the musicians began to loosen their grips on their instruments, just as confused by the clown girl as everybody else.
         “Thank ya. Now, let me introduce myself and my friends, here. My name is Henchy. And I’m the spokesperson for tonight’s entertainment.”
         The red haired boy in front of Erin groaned.
         “The cutey over there with the torch and all of the bandages is Singe. The chubby kid chowing down on the sea lions’ food is Tubs. Mr. and Mrs. Creepy with the masks are Sickle and Spear. The brat with the knight’s armor and the kid with the balloons following him around like a puppy are Joust and Pop. The cowboy kid tipping his ten-gallon is Slick. And the guy who always looks like he’s about to burst into tears is Empath. And I think that’s everyone…oh wait. And lobster boy sitting at the bar is Crab – I mean Claw.”
         Erin saw the boy in front of her, Claw, shoot a glare at the clown girl.
         “Well, we all got to talking today. And we realized that we don’t have nearly enough admirers in this here town. So I decided that it was high time that we introduce ourselves. You can all call us: The Juvenile Gang. So we’re just going to make ourselves at home if you all don’t mind.”
         Erin suspected that this must have been some sort of cue, because as soon as the girl stopped talking, the other children proceeded to tear the Lounge apart.
         Tubs made a beeline for the waiters, all of whom had stopped in their tracks to hear Henchy’s speech, and began toppling them over and devouring the food on their trays.
         Henchy flipped from the iceberg back onto the solid ground of the Lounge floors and rejoined Singe. Together, they ran towards the band pit. They sent the players running with a stream of fire shot in their direction. Henchy began shamelessly moving from instrument to instrument, unleashing an endless stream of wretched notes while Singe stood guard in front of her.
         Joust and Pop, at the older boys behest, began to hold patrons at lance-point, ordering that they hand over their valuable possessions to him. Pop floated beside his friend with a makeshift cherry bomb ready for use in case of trouble.
         The Reaper Twins danced their way through the room, seeming to have no purpose or plan except to terrify people with their namesake weapons.
         Slick stood near the entrance, a revolver in each hand, ready to fire a warning shot at any sign of trouble. The children were fully aware that the Iceberg Lounge attracted a dangerous crowd and selected Slick as insurance that none of the patrons became too rowdy.
         Claw leapt over the bar, causing Erin to shriek slightly and take a step back.
         “I’d run if I were you,” the boy advised with a smirk. He set to toppling bottles from the bar shelves, creating an immense mess.
         Erin turned and began to sprint away from the sudden madness. But she did not get very far before bumping into May again. The blonde composed herself and looked around the space of the Iceberg Lounge. “Ozzy’s gonna be pissed,” she whispered under her breath.
         “Where is he?” Erin asked, breathless.
         Trick Deck jerked her extended finger behind her and pointed. Erin shifted her head to the side and found Penguin walking calmly out of his office followed by at least a dozen hulking bodyguards. The rotund crime boss waddled his way to the center of the room and motioned for four individuals to come to him as he moved. The first three were employees who doubled as his henchwomen when necessary: Jay, Raven, and Lark. They each wore identical clothing. Black tanks, top hats, and grey leggings. The trio or females were only distinguishable from one another by their varying hair color. The fourth individual Penguin motioned for was May.
         “That’s my cue, hun,” Trick Deck announced with a goodbye wave to Erin. The four women all made their way to Penguin and joined his side in the ranks among the dozen hulking men.
         Erin watched Oswald instructing the fifteen individuals at his side. She could not hear what he was saying but she noticed that he was making several hand gestures and pointing at the Juvenile Gang members one by one. Once he appeared to finish his long set of instructions, the entourage broke up into groups all of whom began to spread out.
         Erin kept her eye on May who, along with two men, made their way towards the band pit that housed Henchy and Singe. The girls saw the attackers approaching and leapt up to face them. The bandaged girl’s brow creased visibly under her gauze. Being outnumbered made her nervous. Henchy, on the other hand, looked giddy as she hopped up and down in anticipation for the action.
         The two men charged at Singe, who rolled to the side to avoid being trampled. She raised her lit torch and blew a stream of flames in the men’s direction. One of them fell to the floor screaming, his arm caught in the blast. The other avoided the stream of flames entirely and charged again at the girl. He managed to grab her and lift her off the ground. She struggled to escape but the man’s grip was too strong. She smiled and dropped her torch onto the floor. It landed directly on top of the man’s foot, immediately setting his shoe ablaze. He dropped the girl and took a step back. Singe quickly lifted her torch from the ground and hit the man in his head with the butt of her weapon, knocking him out. She spun around to face the blond girl with the green visor but was surprised to find that she held Henchy in a headlock in front of her.
         Singe aimed her torch at the blonde’s head. “Drop Henchy, or I drop you.”
         May grinned, her grip on the clown girl secure. “You don’t seem like much of a gambler. You sure you’ll be able to hit me? And that chuckles here won’t get caught in the crossfire?” She moved Henchy from left to right slightly. “I’m willing to take the risk. How about you?”
         Singe scowled. Defeated, she dropped her torch and raised her hands in the air.
         Erin sighed, relieved that her friend was okay, and spun around to look back towards the bar. She saw that Claw was facing Jay and Raven.
         “Penguin’s so shorthanded that he had to send a pair of strippers after me?” Erin heard the boy taunt.
         Jay laughed in response. “Correction: he has too many employees. He only needed to send one of us to take you down.” Raven leapt over the bar while her partner spoke and faced the pincer handed boy. She thrust her arms forward in a series of quick punches, most of which the boy managed to avoid. He caught the last of her punches and guided it with its full momentum into the bar table. Raven squealed from the impact and jumped back, waving her hand back and forth in the air in an attempt to lessen the pain.
         Jay grabbed Claw from behind and attempted to capture him in a headlock. He slammed his foot down on top of hers and she let go.
         “Nice try, bitc–” he began but was cut off. Raven punched him in the back of his head with her left hand. He hit the floor and rolled over, attempting to jump up and recover quickly. But both of the henchwomen had already swarmed him and incapacitated him.
         Erin looked around the room and saw that all of the children had been detained in a similar manner and were being taken in groups to the center of the Lounge. They were all tossed on the floor in front of Penguin. Once all of the children were in front of him, he looked to the patrons of his nightclub and began to speak in a loud, official voice.
         “On behalf of the entire staff at the Iceberg Lounge, I would like to personally apologize for the brief shenanigans brought about by these troublesome teenagers. Anything that has been stolen from any of you will be returned immediately. And as compensation for your troubles I would like to offer free drinks at the bar to all present for the remainder of the night.” He nodded at May and she ran back to her position behind the bar. “Thank you all for your understanding. Please enjoy the remainder of your night.” At this, most of the patrons rushed towards the promise of free drinks, apparently forgetting the chaos that occurred only moments ago.
         Penguin now looked down to the Juvenile Gang at his feet. He scowled through his monocle.
          “I think you brats need to be informed about the severity of your actions tonight. I could very easily have the lot of you killed for even entering my establishment. That’s not even taking into consideration the trouble that you caused.”
         An audible gulp came from several of the children.
         “However,” he went on. “As a courtesy to the Joker I am letting this particular transgression slide. But make no mistake. None of you are to ever step foot in my establishment again. And if any of you ever cross me again, I won’t hesitate to rid myself of you.”

* * *

         The children all landed on the cold ground with a thud. The back door to the Iceberg Lounge slammed shut after all of the kids had been thrown out.
         Claw sat up and shook the dirt out of his hair. “Well that sucked.”
         “What are you talking about?” Henchy squealed. “That was great!”
         “Great? We’re a freaking joke now!”
         The clown girl’s mouth dropped in disbelief. “Are you crazy? They know our names now! The Juvenile Gang is on the map!”
         “Yeah!” Pop interjected. “Henchy’s right! Did you see how scared everyone was!”
         “And we were kicked out by the Penguin!” Spear chimed in. “THE Penguin!”
         Claw sighed and shook his head but couldn’t stop himself from grinning slightly. All of the other children did the same.
         Henchy beamed at her teammates. “We gotta do this again sometime!”